“Flight 563 departing for Atlanta is now boarding Zone 4…”
I’m sitting on the airplane next to this smiley businessman (probably reading over my shoulder as I type) who insists on making small talk. He’s probably wondering why I have such an extreme sunglasses tan or why a college kid flying home for the summer would seem so morose- how do I even begin to explain to this complete stranger what I’ve endured the past 3 days?
DEPAUL (ROUND ONE)
The game went rather quickly. We knew we had a great chance to take the tournament, but before we could think about facing the reigning champs No. 9 Mizzou, we had to focus on one tiny chore: beating the team we had yet to defeat my whole career at Illinois. Especially after losing to them in the latter part of our regular season with –let’s face it-one of our sloppiest outings of the year- we were ready to avenge ourselves. Besides, everyone understood that we could not put ourselves in a position to win the tournament without grabbing the first one. I think it gave us a little perspective and helped us think less on the rivalry and more about advancing to super-regionals. After the game, the celebration was short lived- we knew we hadn’t seen the last of the Blue Demons and we had to focus on Mizzou.
MIZZOU (ROUND ONE)
I think our first face off against Mizzou was a lot like our first meeting with DePaul this year. We made the opposing team the challenge instead of the game. As a result, we weren’t winning innings and couldn’t put enough runs up as we normally do. But once it was over, we didn’t exactly have time to pout; we were scheduled to play DePaul in two hours and knew it’d either be us or them going home. Nothing like a game at gunpoint to give you a short-term memory.
DEPAUL (ROUND TWO)
The loser’s bracket is simple- kill or be killed. At this point, everyone has scouted and is well aware of each team’s strengths and weaknesses. So as a hitter- whatever your worst pitch is, expect it. Over. And over. And over. What’s more, the opposing defense also adjusts to your offensive tendencies; to counter this, the hitters must adjust to the pitcher. This info is not to hype up how hard it is to succeed in post-season, but just to illustrate the paradox of the game. It’s all about who can multitask the best- making hundreds of small adjustments while simultaneously not straying from your own style of play.
During the break between games, the team agreed that if we played tentative or tried to be tricky again, we would undoubtedly go home. Our team isn’t sneaky- the only way we know how to win is to HIT and HIT and HIT; trying to win any other way was just a recipe for disaster. Might as well take the risk of trusting ourselves despite everyone else’s scouting reports on us and play the way we know how.
The DePaul game was just one big blur. We had to win it and of course, took each inning seriously, but it was a mere stepping stone onto our real goal of getting a second shot at the Tigers. 9-1 later, we were in the championship series.
MIZZOU (PART TWO)
Our execution could have been better, especially on offense. We didn’t have half of the base runners we normally do, and our defense- which has always thrived off of our offense- only added to our frustration.
However, in true Illini fashion, weren’t going down without a fight and sparked in the bottom of the 7th. Jackie got a base hit and brought the tying run to the plate with two outs. In the huddle, Coach told Z to drive the ball in the dirt at short stop as hard as she could and that the combination of Z’s speed and pressure on the defense would guarantee us a run.
Z did EXACTLY what Coach told her to; she executed it perfectly. As Z dove head first into the base, our season hung in the balance. I held my breath for the throw.
“Oh my God, she’s safe! She did it!” I thought. I ran to grab her bat out of the box when I saw the first base umpire start her slow-motion run and throw back her arm to signal ‘out.’
--It was like taking a bullet. My heart broke- not for my season, but for this fearless junior, who will probably never fully comprehend how brave she was to even stay composed in that situation, let alone succeed.
After the game, we went to Mizzou’s visitor locker room to shower before the drive home; some parents of Mizzou were there waiting for their daughters and agreed that Z was in fact safe. They continued to express their relief because they too, knew we would have taken that opportunity to bust the inning open. Even right now, I’m speechless. Whoever says umpires don’t lose games didn’t have to look into Z’s eyes.
Now, Z, because I KNOW you, I know that moment will haunt you. But know this: not only would I have put the fate of our team in your hands again, but I have no doubt that moment will be the driving force for a dominant 2011 season. And while only one team actually ends their season satisfied, you have to admit-sometimes ‘the beauty is in the attempt.’
To the rest of my beloved teammates- I know this loss stings, but trust me; just like all previous Illini losses have, this defeat will raise the bar and propel the program into great things. Our goal last year was to make post season; this year’s goal was not to be satisfied with a post-season appearance, but actually compete for the title; next year’s obviously will be to take it all- and I’ll be cheering front and center when you do.
As I stepped off the airplane in Atlanta, I felt like “Moonlight” Graham in Field of Dreams- stepping over the chalk, morphing from ball player to civilian. I won’t have to wake up early to lift tomorrow. There won’t be a “Hello Future Big Ten Champions!” letter from Coach in my mailbox this summer. And in three months, I’ll be hearing walk-out songs from behind the dugout instead…So this is what it feels, like, huh?
In closing, I’d like to leave you with an excerpt I read on the airplane back to school in August that set the foundation for my mindset all season.
“Because he was fearless and gifted, he could surrender to his game fully. He could risk everything because he knew he had taken possession of his time on the field and had perfect faith in his skills and instincts.” ~ Pat Conroy, My Losing Season
You all have seeds of greatness in you. Learn to have that ‘perfect faith’ both in yourself and your teammates. And remember, if ever the goal seems too high, JUST DON’T LOOK DOWN!
I wish you –current and future Illini- more successful seasons to come. Seasons full of adversity to build character, camaraderie to make it worthwhile, and in your great efforts, memories to treasure forever.
- Hope #1
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